3 Sisters 7 Days

Vizsla's are characteristically agile and trainable, but can they climb? After proving himself to be an adept scrambler at the quarry in Fontana, CA, Cooper surveys the route up…

This summer’s visit to Colorado Springs was full of “firsts,” including a trip to the Olympic Training Center that has been 15 years in the making. As long as we were there, Terri, Olivia, and I thought we’d try out for the women’s bobsled team . Think we have a shot at making it?

My daughter Reiley is back from camp, where she learned that sometimes fisher cats live under the bunks. I have to admit, I thought she was pulling my leg…or that someone was pulling hers. Fisher cats must be like snipe, right?

Wrong! Fisher cats are closely related to the American marten, which I think looks a lot like a large ferret. They dwell in forests from Canada to the northernmost parts of the United States. Reiley just did a quick bit of research on the creatures and offers the following cinquain poem:

FisherCats

brown, mammal

Lives under bunks.

East hare and porqupine.

FisherCats

While I was at Lama in New Mexico, Olivia stayed with Terri and her fiance, Maz; our brother, Brian, watched Olivia while Terri worked in the morning. One morning, when Brian was feeling especially energetic, he took Olivia fishing. Although Brian did catch Olivia with fishing pole in hand, this shot is much more characteristic of her activities that morning. In case you were wondering, no, they didn’t catch anything .

Stephen Covey is most often associated with the idea of “putting the big rocks in first,” in reference to ordering life so that you are able to give adequate attention to what matters most. Whereas Covey’s story involves a successful business man, Rebecca Skeele's version features a college professor, who is tired of hearing all the excuses about incomplete assignments and complaints of ‘too much’ homework – a feeling I’m all too familiar with. She walks into her classroom one day with a large glass jar, a box of big rocks, a smaller box of pebbles, a bucket of sand, and a pitcher of water:

After explaining to the class that the day’s lesson will cover “perception,” the professor instructs the class to “please tell me when the jar is full,” as she begins to fill the glass jar to the top with large rocks. “Is the jar full?” she asks.

“Sure,” says someone in the back row, sounding a little bored at the obvious question.

The professor doesn’t respond as she picks up the box of pebbles and gingerly pours the contents into the jar, filling all the crevices around the big rocks with smaller pebbles. “Class, is the jar full now?” she asks.

“Well, OK, now the jar is full,” remarks the same back row student.

Still foregoing a response, the professor picks up the bucket of sand and slowly empties the contents into the jar. The sand easily fills all the spaces around the large rocks and small pebbles to the very top of the jar. “Now, class, is the jar full?

“No” comes a chorus of voices from the class. “No, the jar is not full.”

She smiles, and picks up the pitcher of water and carefully empties the liquid into the glass jar all the way to the top. “Class, is the jar full?“

“Yes!” her students enthusiastically respond.

Then the professor explains, “If you know what matters to you, what lights up your heart, what brings lasting joy and happiness, what is the next crucial step toward an important long range goal – do that first…and then there will time, energy, and space for everything else.” With that, she walks out of the room.

She’s right, of course. I just spent a week at a workshop that, in true “retreat” fashion, organized each day’s activities around extended communal meal times and daily spiritual practice, leaving yet more “pockets” of time to explore the the 110 acres we called “home.” In addition to participating in workshop activities – including visual arts practice, presentations and associated discussions, and course preparation – I managed to read, write, and spend time with my sons, who were with me. Moreover, I was well-rested, relaxed, and happy.

The transition back to “real life” has been excrutiating . It’s much easier to take time for delicious meals when you don’t also have to plan and prepare them, plus do the dishes. Likewise, it’s easy to get up, go for a run, followed by meditation practice and a shower before breakfast, when you don’t have to feed the dog and get the kids dressed and out the door. Less than 24 hours after leaving Lama, I’m already exhausted, facing a “to do” list that grows faster than I can cross items off. I’m afraid that sometimes you have to put the little rocks in first, which collectively edge out the big ones.

Richard Louvhas argued that lack of time spent in nature is the root cause of the wild increase in behavioral problems experienced by America’s children. I’m happy to report that my son’s have been inoculated. We are spending a week at the Lama Foundation, a spiritual and sustainable community located in the Carson National Forest about 20 miles north of Taos, NM.

The Lama Foundation, founded in 1967,  is one of the United States’ oldest intentional communities and is distinguished by its commitment to support all spiritual paths. Instead of a single resident spiritual teacher, Lama’s leadership consists of about a dozen residents who are responsible for the daily operation and spiritual attunement of the community. I am here to experience life in the kind of community that might enable us to weather and even flourish in the wake of the global environmental crisis, and to participate in a workshop on contemplative practices in higher education, especially as they relate to teaching global environmental politics and related subjects.

A huge upside of this experience, for me, is the explicit inclusion of participants’ children. Although my sons were admittedly reluctant to join me, they’ve embraced the place – from vegetarian meals and daily spiritual practice to tent camping, outdoor showers, and peeing in the woods. In fact, I hardly see nine-year-old Parker, who spends his days hiking, running and playing in and around the main building, which includes a den where the kids congregate to talk, plot, play cards, and – sometimes, when someone leaves a computer behind – check their email and Facebook pages. His nearly 15-year-old brother, Quentin, has gone native – fits right in, serving the community by working in the kitchen and picking fruit, and participates now and again in the adult program.

I expect this trip to be an experience they won’t forget, and one they’ll tell their children about. I hope I’m there to hear all about it.

My daughter Olivia spent the weekend with my sister and her family. She wants to be a big sister (a desire that I assure will remain unfulfilled!) SO badly that she insisted on dressing like her cousin Samantha Jo, including squeezing into this Size 3 swimsuit.

This is probably the best picture out of my/our entire stay in CA.  Maz has been to the beach before, but not like this past trip.  We actually spent a good amount of time at the La Jolla shores (my favorite place) and snorkeled.  Neither of us had ever done that before, but we had a good time.  I think the trickiest part is learning how to get in and out of the water with fins. Well, at least Maz was able to keep his fins on…

Like a lot of other women today, I am perhaps too aware of all the unhealthy chemicals we’re exposed to everyday. With summer on the horizon – literally, the Solstice is Monday! – I’ve been on the hunt for an effective and affordable sunscreen. Thankfully, current periodicals routinely add to the backlog of online information available on which chemicals we need to watch out for in sunscreens; unfortunately, most of them tend to be pricier than their more dangerous competitors. While I’m certain I can refrain from slathering too much sunscreen on my body and rarely spill it, this isn’t the case with my children. Hence, my annual return to the “sunscreen issue.”

This year, I’ve upped the ante. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before, but the chemicals in most of the moisturizers with SPF moisturizers we use everyday are just as suspect as those in the sunscreens we coat ourselves with during the summer months. The vast majority of sunscreens, including those contained in moisturizers to reduce the incidence of skin cancer and prevent premature aging contain potentially harmful chemicals like Benzophenone, homosalate and octyl methoxycinnamate (or octinoxate), which can mimic naturally occurring hormones and disrupt our bodies' systems. Some also contained Padimate-0 and parsol 1789 (also known as avobenzone), which may cause DNA damage when exposed to sunlight. Not only can they "kill" you, but less than 2% of them even work. Even if applied correctly - i.e., liberally and often - the much overrated SPF rating does nothing to prevent the effects of cancer-causing, premature-aging UVA rays.

What should you look for?

A recent GOOD post provides an exhaustive list of guidelines for selecting and using a summer sunscreen. Of these, the following are more pertinent to choosing an everyday moisturizer with sunscreen protection:

1. If your intention is to prevent cancer and reduce premature aging, IGNORE SPF RATINGS.

2. Choose zinc and/or titanium dioxide over chemical sunscreens. Zinc is the most effective active ingredient for protecting your skin from sun damage currently on the market. As long as you avoid ingesting it, titanium dioxide is as safe and effective as zinc.

3. Avoid vitamin A; humans may be among the planet’s mammals who are getting cancer at higher rates due to overexposure to vitamin A.

4.Minimize exposure to parabens – a class of chemicals used as preservatives in most name brand skin care products – and avoid fragrances, which contain phthalates (another chemical preservative related to parabens). Parabens mimic estrogen, which has been widely associated with increased incidence of breast cancer.

While most of us can do without the fragrance, I don’t know anyone who relishes waking up to moldy facial cream. Don’t laugh. It’s happened to me – long ago when I made my own cosmetics because the few safe variants available then far exceeded my modest personal expense budget. Note that I made very small quantities just for myself; major cosmetic manufacturers ship their products over long distances, through varying climates and storage temperatures, to store shelves where they sit for undetermined periods of time before making it the medicine cabinet or vanity. They correctly argue that that: a) parabens are among the least irritating and most effective preservatives, and b) they are used sparingly, typically appearing at the very end of the ingredients list. Still, parabens remain “bad” for our health; the recent development of nanoparticles, which can permit even the tiniest amounts of toxic ingredients in our skin care products to penetrate the skin and enter the blood stream, makes them even worse for us.

The good news is that The Environmental Working Group recently released its list of top 10 safe moisturizer that effectively prevents unnecessary sun damage (the corresponding list of top 10 safe and eco-friendly sunscreens is also available now!):

1. Marie Veronique Organics Moisturizing Face Screen: Reviews suggest it’s very drying.

2. SanRe Organic Skinfood Shaded Rose and Coconut Day Cream: Earns rave reviews, except for the patchouli scent.

3. Devita International Daily Solar Protective Moisturizer: Very creamy and works!

4. Keys Soap Solar Rx Cosmetic Moisturizing Sunblock: Uniformly high reviews.

5. Sweetsation Therapy Sun*Si’Belle Organic Triple Action Moisturizer: This one must have been pushed in the world of SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms)…Sweetsation’s website provides a long list of products reviewed, which are all good.

6. Skin QR Organics L’air du Soleil: Another one marked by a foul – this time, antisceptic – scent, and it’s difficult to rub in.

7. Institute Dermed Sun Protective Cream Oil Free: Loved by those with dry skin.

8. Sun Science Organic Daily Wear: Essentially a sunscreen that works well for the face.

9. Karen’s Botanicals Lavendar Facial Cream: Best for those with Rosacea and other skin conditions.

10. N.V. Perricone M.D. Cosmeceuticals Target CAe Solar Protection: Highest reviews appear on its own site.

Note that all of these products exceed the average drugstore price for moisturizers ($10-$12 for name brands), but most are comparable to the cost of similar products at department stores ($20-$50). One penny-wise approach is to purchase a safe face and body sunscreen, and use it year-round on your face in combination with a preservative-free everyday moisturizer. The Body Shop’s Aloe Soothing Day Cream ($16) and Boots Organic Face Hydrating Day Cream ($12.99 at Target) are affordable options that work really well. In addition, I’ve found that as a consequence of the added humidity in summertime, I can actually ditch my moisturizer altogether for a couple of months out of the year to offset the cost of the more expensive sunscreen.

What was I doing 13 years ago today? Dreading tomorrow. Reiley’s due date was June 10th and I am NOT one of those women who conveniently forgets that giving birth is excruciatingly painful. The countdown had begun. Lucky for me, Reiley’s birth was the EASIEST LABOR AND DELIVERY EVER. Less than three hours from my first “cramp,” Reiley literally “fell” into the midwife’s hands before she even had a chance to change into scrubs.

Fast forward to today. Reiley is at the movies seeing “Iron Man 2″ to celebrate her last day being 12 (in perspective, she has just one more day as a 12-year-old before embarking on 365 days as a 13-year-old), so I’ve gained a very welcome respite. I have stopped counting the times Reiley’s asked me to DO SOMETHING for her birthday. As if FILLING a 19,440-cubic-inch soft trunk – read massive duffel bag – with everything she’ll need for seven weeks at camp: uniforms and play clothes, sports equipment, bed and bath supplies, and miscellaneous items to keep her busy (huh?) is not enough!